Its time I showed appreciation for all that has changed me, and helped me grow. I was a bitch, at many times in my life, I’m sure. Said things I should’ve kept to myself, and been ungrateful for whats been given to me.
My parents, for they have raised me to want to be the woman I’m becoming. The wife I always wanted to be, I saw what I wanted, unaware of how to achieve such wise thoughts, how to get past my immaturity. Part is with age, experience, and the responsibility I’ve been begging for since my sophomore year of HS. I have managed to get everything I’ve ever wanted in life, because my parents showed me the way.
My mother. She pushed me into girl scouts at a young age, never permitting me to give up like everyone else seemed to do. I stuck through it, so I could have a better future supposedly. Its showing through in more ways than one. I have leadership skills, I have people skills, I have learned how to quiet a room, I want to be superwoman and I’ll always have the motto of “Leave a place better than you found it.” I often carefully pick up trash on lightrail and toss it when I get off. And I don’t litter, I litter my purse up instead. I’ve learned to generally not question my authority, unless I feel in my gut its right I do.
Girl scouts has done quite a lot for me, but she also got me into swimming, the most refreshing release of my energy besides dancing. I know how to have a good time, I’ll admit, I’ve seen my fair share of bad moods, but its magnificent when my mom is happy. When she feels good, the whole place is silly, happier. Something similar to what my dad would always say, “Happy wife, equals a happy life.” And its very much true. We as women hold a lot of power. Anyways, its nice. And I’ve gotten that part from her, the over accentuated feeling of happiness. Its a great gene to have my friends, fucking fantastic to feel THAT happy about something. Mine might be even more accentuated though. I’m still grateful.
My dad. Oh geez my dad, he has to be superman, right? Like, really? I know he’s been held so very high on that pedestal but you should know why. He always overworked himself, frequently doing probably 60 or 70 hours of work a week. He may not have been home too much, but when he was home, it counted. I would love coming home from school and immediately going to the store with him once we dropped off my siblings. I learned how to find the prices that were the best for what you’re getting and how much you’re getting. Being smart about what we bought, and he always said no when I wanted something stupid I shouldn’t be allowed to have, and instead a special snack he knew I loved. I was the picky one, anyways. He took runs with us, he asked us what we wanted for our birthday. My choices for myself, a shopping spree for a new outfit, or a trip to Six Flags or Great America. Yea, I was in fact spoiled in some ways. I may not have had my dad for everything in my life, but he was there for the important stuff and spoiled us to the point we knew we were spoiled but knew we weren’t ever able to take advantage of it with him. And we were taught to earn the money we wanted to spend. Before getting it. We didn’t have to do weekly or daily chores, didn’t have to keep up on our rooms or make our beds. But, when we needed anything, we very clearly had something we could be doing to earn some money. I learned how to do yard work, and quickly once I started getting into trouble and having nothing I could do otherwise. He taught me that comparison is the heart of all unhappiness. He taught me to appreciate, taught me manners, taught me to think about what it is I’m about to say. The if its not nice, don’t say anything at all. Got stuck in my head eventually. And I may have stopped talking because I was a brat in high school, but at least now I don’t want to start fights, I don’t want to yell, or scream. I just want happy happy, all the time. I’m so very appreciative for each and every visit I get with him now. I can finally understand the way that he thinks, why he did all that he’s done. I understand money, I know how to drive, I know how to shop, I know everything I know because he walked me through it. He got me into the music I absolutely adore. Every time I’ve ever done anything wrong, the first thing to come to mind is him, what he’ll say and what he’ll think. I know now, its irrelevant, it may never matter what I’ve done, I’ll never be evil or so stupid. I was simply raised better, and my parents will always understand and accept me. And I thank them for that.
And, to my father. I sometimes think I am better than others, simply because I’m starting to see the world in a different light, that its possible to get what you want, if you have the motivation and determination. The wisdom to figure out a plan and follow through with it. That we all make mistakes, but that we can learn from them and take from them what we need to.
I love my dad more than words can describe, he has been my role model.
I wrote this 3 years ago, and forgot to publish it, I stand by it. I have the confidence in my self worth. I bring honesty, and no judgements to the table. I was raised by a man with strong values, I will only believe in my values more as I grow older.