I Don’t Want You

Thought Catalog

I don’t want you to lose any weight. I don’t want you to waste your time thinking you need to lose weight. I don’t want you to think other people think you need to lose weight. I also don’t want you to gain any weight—so put those protein drinks away. I don’t want you to weigh any less or any more than you do at this moment, unless you want to do so.

I don’t want you to cut your hair. I don’t want you to grow it out. I don’t want you to perm it or shave it or have it relaxed. I don’t want you to braid it or dye it or straighten it or dry it. I don’t even want you to let me run my fingers through it, unless you want to do so.

I don’t want you to watch less TV, or more TV, or…

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My 30 Day Challenge

I like the idea of attempting to keep up with something, for 30 days. I’d like to break a habit, and start a new one, as my 30 day challenge for myself.

I want to break my habit of biting my nails, and award myself at the end of the 30 days with either a trip to the mall, or a trip to a shop for the tall pink bong of my dreams. Yes, that is a good goal. And, I’ll be going to Portland at the end of the 30 days, if I start today. 🙂

What habit am I going to pick up? I have a few options flowing through my head. Would I like to do an hour of cleaning every single day? Exercise every single day with the butt squat challenge? Am I going to learn to cook, and research and try out a new recipe every night? Or am I going to put away a dollar a day, at least a single dollar and at any given point more. As long as I NEVER take any out. I need to save, and NOT have the ability to borrow from it.

Think I can do more than one? I’d like to try and change up my life, change my bad habits, my inability to save, my ability to cook, and fix my health and weight. I want to turn my life upside down, and I keep having to remind myself “One step at a time.”

I guess we’ll see.

Join me in this 30 day challenge, encourage me, and help me stay strong. I’m trying to sucker Lisa into joining me as well, so I can demand we both help each other. With whatever she wants to do, and whichever I choose to do. May we be able to do it together. 🙂


Oh, and Ana totally got me into the 30 day squat challenge, I just started after her, so I quit without support. I need some support, ladies! HELP!

The Vintage Advantage

Ana got me into vintage, and old fashioned items and clothing. She loves the Vintage lace look. I love the classy Audrey Hepburn, or a very Bewitched sort of housewife look, I crave owning more to keep that look alive and my housewife dreams come true in the fashion sense. 🙂



There was a very special time, when a woman was a lady and she looked fabulous. Yards of fabric spilling and spinning around her. The swish of silk and petticoats. The cinched waists with A-line skirts, or billowing blouse with pencil skirts. The magical way her brooch catches the light and shines like a tiny chandelier. Her laugh like bubbles in champagne. While wearing gloves and hats with dark lace, she is the epitome of femininity, individuality and, dare I repeat myself, fabulousness. This woman is drawn to others of her kind. A classic spirit in modern times. She is a Lady and her time is now. These Ladies long for a prettier time. Is there a place for them, you ask? Why yes; They are the past, they are the future, they are Vintage.

There is a pink house on top of a hill, overlooking a rapid flowing river…

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A Cheat Sheet For Winning At Life In Your 20s

Thought Catalog

I’ve always had close friends who are significantly older than me. One awesome advantage to this is they generally treat me to lunch when we go out. (There is such a thing as a free lunch! In your face, Milton Friedman. Okay, obviously the lunch isn’t technically free but it’s free for me and that’s what counts.) Anyway, the other great advantage is I get a lot of tips and tidbits of good advice about how to enjoy my twenties and be independent and all that good stuff. Honestly, I feel like I’ve been in my twenties a really long time even though I’m not even at the half way point yet. But when you move across the world at seventeen by yourself, you grow up really fast. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to curate a cheat sheet for how to win at life. Of course, I am still…

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Metamorphosis (Or: Apparently My Body is Missing?!)

For when I get pregnant, I need to remember this. Such a beautiful way to look at it. I hope to not want my body back so desperately as I’m thinking I will. I hope to enjoy my pregnancy and weight gain, and to wear my stripes proudly, to accept a new body as the price for motherhood, the greatest miracle. The greatest joy, the greatest meaning to your life. Becoming a mother.

Mama Unabridged

My soul would sing of metamorphoses.
But since, o gods, you were the source of these
bodies becoming other bodies, breathe
your breath into my book of changes…
~ Ovid, The Metamorphoses
My abdomen is probably the only part of my body I’ve never felt insecure about. Everything else has, at one time or another, been overrun by pudge, pimples, stretch marks, or, the most likely culprit in my case, unwanted body hair. When I gain weight, I tend to pack it on around the hips, thighs, chest, but, thanks to the crapshoot of genetics, I have never really had a flabby stomach.

That, however, is no longer the case. My abdomen is a fleshy pillow now. I can sink my fingers into it like bread dough.

My body has gone through many permutations over the past ten months, but this one is the most engrossing to me…

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Time Crunch

Its time..

Time to get off work, time to start my weekend.

This weekend is SO packed. I’m hoping it all goes swimmingly, and that in the midst my sickling will stop being sick. An entire week of hell for him has SERIOUSLY been enough.

Tonight, I’m to get picked up by my Aunt, and help my grandfather at a function he’s in charge of. Not sure what I’ll be doing, but family is going to help him out. As many as he could get that live close enough, since a lot of my family is in Utah..

Tomorrow shall be AMAZING. Happy 420 everyone!!!

I’m to tan, and bake ALL day. I’ll be meeting up with my friend Zashley (Ashley, Red, Ginger, Rayne, My donut queen) and I’m gonna meet her new boo and we’ll smoke all fucking day.

I’ve made a date with Ana. We’re to video chat and enjoy pretending like we’re together for our FAVORITE smoking day.

I’m also expected to have Chase dropped off at my apartment in the morning since she’s been gone all week, while Mable heals, and she’s been receiving lots of love from Lisa and her little family. And I’m to see my beautiful Mary Kay lady to get my products.

And to end my Saturday evening, I’m running a 5K. The Electric Run is finally here. I’m thankful its a fun run, since I did not do any training. Had to make sure not to, I need to gain healthy weight before I attempt to exercise and work off calories I never take in…

I’m gonna be SOOO bright for the run. Shine BRIGHT like a Diamond. 😀

Sunday. Oh sweet Sunday. It’ll come too quickly. I’ll be snuggling with Aaron til we need to get up for Lisa’s wedding. Aaron is the Best Man. 🙂 I’m bringing the photographer, and hiding my terrible dye job. Fuck that salon.

Sunday will be filled with relaxing Lisa best I can with her Bridesmaid Kayla. We’ll go off on our own, get Lisa’s hair done all purrrrty. Then the wedding is in the early evening, as the sun goes down. She’s so gorgeous in her dress, I can’t wait to see Robert’s reaction when he see’s her. I very much look forward to her wedding. I want to feel the love, joy and excitement. I love weddings! 🙂

My oh so packed weekend. But its to be BEAUTIFUL!

Also, some point in there I might be picking up my car.. 😛